Adland abuse: I was sexually harassed and didn’t speak out. Here’s what I wish I knew

This week is Sexual Abuse and Sexual Violence Awareness week. For those affected, this can be a week of painful turmoil. Worst of all, most will have not reported their experiences. There are many forms of sexual abuse, including sexual harassment. As an industry, we have a lot of work to do in this space.

My hope is that now, as a senior creative myself, I can share my experience and offer anyone who has gone through sexual harassment the advice and tools to take the next step and speak up.

What began as a seemingly ‘innocent’ Instagram follow soon escalated into him liking all my beach and bikini pictures, followed by a slew of messages asking to ‘see what’s underneath’ and demanding naked photographs. What made this even worse was the man in question had never even spoken to me in person, but confidently strolled past my desk every day. One morning, I found myself stuck in the lift with him alone. Those moments have never left me, the absolute fear that overcame me and the panic of being trapped in the unknown.

That experience alone has haunted me to this day. I am still unable to take lifts. When I say that sexual harassment never leaves you, I mean it still haunts you like a shadow and pops up in unexpected ways. It can make you overthink the simplest of behaviors.

An experience like this leaves you with so many questions flying around your head. Is this my fault? Am I too friendly? Did I ask for this? Will speaking up cause too much turmoil? Will telling HR affect my career? The constant buzz of doubt is enough to keep you silent – which, unfortunately, I did.

These days, we have more information and a more open narrative around sexual harassment. In retrospect, I can see that I was blaming myself for something that was not my fault. In fact, the man who was (and still is) in a senior position took complete advantage of me and my inexperience. I don’t want anyone to feel this way or to be put in this position. Sadly, as much as I can wish for this, I know it will still happen, so I want people to feel supported and prepared for what they can do next.

If you have experienced sexual harassment

People have the tendency to blame themselves and think they are at fault. I now know that speaking up and recognizing what happened is the first step to solving the issue. However, if you feel anxious about any potential consequences, confide in someone you trust first before approaching HR or the senior team. I spoke to my senior creative at the time, who I had a good working relationship with. She offered me useful support and advice and, in a bizarre way, I just wanted someone to listen to me and tell me I wasn’t crazy and that my feelings were valid. She patiently listened to me and, without feeling pressure, I opened up. She confirmed that I was being rational and it was the reassurance I needed. You can also report ordeals anonymously if you still don’t feel comfortable having your name attached to the ordeal.

As a creative, something as severe as sexual harassment can have the ability to affect your work as most of our creative output comes from our passion and feeds off our emotions. If our thoughts are plagued by a horrific incident and muddied, it can make it difficult to come up with brilliant ideas. Going through sexual harassment as a creative can create a lot of self-doubt and anxiety around the quality of your work. The best defense against this is to use your work as an outlet. Channel your energy into doing what you do best. Even though I couldn’t deny my experience affected me, I didn’t let it take the pleasure out of my work. I used it as fuel to push myself harder. You can’t let the experience dominate you and your career.

Navigating your career going forward

I am lucky to be in a position now in my career that I can talk about this experience and hopefully inspire others to. I actively work and enjoy being involved with organizations such as TimeTo and creating work and campaigns that can help others has been cathartic and a constructive way of dealing with it.

For any creative still struggling to deal with the emotions and consequences of sexual harassment, I would focus on building your self-value. I would encourage people to speak to a counselor, whether that’s inside or outside work. You can also gain support and seek help from TimeTo and Nabs, which can support you through the emotional and logistical steps of sexual harassment.

Although I would encourage anyone who has experienced sexual harassment to speak up, I also want people to be aware and mindful that the outcome you desire might not be the one you get, or it might not happen straight away. But by working together and reporting every indecent incident more action will be taken. Justice can be a slow burn. If we say ’enough’ now and refuse to tolerate sexual harassment, we can put a stop to it.

For help, advice and support around sexual harassment, please email timeto@nabs.org.uk. For further information about the TimeTo initiative, please contact timetoinfo@nabs.org.uk.